Boxd…Dreams Made of Waffles

Under the category of goddamn genius, you'll find Boxd located in Carlsbad, California. Kay and I stopped by Boxd while visiting California and couldn't believe how simple yet effective this business is. If you like waffles (who doesn't) then this place is for you. The menu is simple, it's waffle sandwiches filled with whatever you want (eggs, bacon, fruit...) (Insert Kay: You take a waffle. Put some shit in the middle. Fold it over. Then you eat it. Done and Done…Bananas and Nutella Waffle…drooling just thinking about it). They have a seating area on the street corner and they've landscaped it to look like a small park. (Insert Kay: Of course, it IS Sunny Southern California, ...so, it's easier to have a year-round outdoor restaurant. Might be a little harder on the East Coast. Grrr, stupid Maryland weather.) After polishing of my waffle sandwich, I thought this about the entire setup.

Ask yourself, what would be better than hand crafted waffle sandwiches sold out of a shipping container in a small public park? Nothing, asshole. If I were ever going to rip off an idea, this would be it. Here is my business plan:

1) acquire shipping container
2) buy waffle iron and small griddle
3) rent a small space in city
4) make money

When (note I said when) you visit Carlsbad, make sure you take time to stop by and visit Boxd. They aren't open late so plan on breakfast or lunch (I refuse to say brunch since only douches use that word). If you don't have time to take a trip to the west coast, you can simply stop by our own version of Boxd here in Frederick, MD once we get it going. If any of you assholes rip off my ripped off idea and start this here before we do, you'll need to add step 5 to your business plan (receive ass whooping). And for a rating, obviously, we're going with a Hell Yeah here.

Madrones

In a failed attempt to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings, Kay and I found ourselves at Madrones (their website is a .net…amateur hour) over in the Clemson Corner shopping center in Frederick, MD. Prior to entering the restaurant, Kay and I argued over whether or not this was a chain. Judging by the location, neon sign, and logo, all signs pointed to yes. But, after we both did some research, it appears that it is not a chain afterall (but I'm still not convinced.)

When we entered the restaurant, everything said chain steakhouse. Fake stone fireplace, a shitload of tables/booths, deer antler lights and a douche behind the bar. The Janet Jackson (I call her Ms. Jackson, cuz I'm nasty) playing on the house stereo did throw me, though. (Insert Kay: Yes, I was shocked that Jay knew this old 'skool' Janet Jackson reference too! "No my first name ain't baby!") We were quickly greeted by the hostess who was wearing a low cut shirt complemented with a huge rack, a plus in any guy's book. Unfortunately she wasn't our server so that was a minus. (Insert Kay: Yeah. I was super upset.)

Our server was quick to arrive since there wasn't a lot people in the place. (Insert Kay: It was like a Monday night). He took our drink order and gave us a few minutes to look over the menu. (Insert Kay: While we didn't get drinks this time around, Madrone's drink menu seemed really extensive. They had a wall filled with whiskey and other liquor bottles, plus a good selection of craft beers.) After viewing the menu, I realized I was wrong about the steakhouse theme, this joint was just normal American fare. Our waiter returned to take our order and proceeded to break rule #1. He immediately turned to me and said "I'll take your order first, sir". Look, I'll admit that I'm the biggest asshole I know, (Insert Kay: Truer words have never been spoken) but even I know you always take the broad's order first. I looked over at Kay when he said that and just gave her the "did that shit just happen?" look. Apparently it did, so I quickly got over it and ordered the hickory burger. Kay ordered the grilled portobellos & goat cheese pasta.

Our food arrived in a timely manner. But to be honest, it was rather boring. I wasn't impressed and I wasn't disappointed. It was the most non exciting meal I've had in a long time. I may or may not have fallen asleep in the middle of it. It was kind of like hitting LC's behind the dumpsters in shop class. (Insert Kay: Jay, what the hell are you talking about!?) That statement makes no sense (stop trying to figure it out asshole) and that's how I felt after the meal. (Insert Kay: Oh.)  (Insert Kay: While my meal looked promising, it was WAY too salty. As in drink-3-full-glasses-of-water salty. I couldn't even finish half of it. And holy goat cheese balls....it was just a lot of cheese. If you really like cheese, you may like this dish, it was just too much for me)

After finishing our meals, we wrapped up the check and simply headed home. I did catch a good look of the boobie hostess on the way out. I gave her my best pick up line (seen here), not sure how she took it though. As far as a rating, we'd give this one an "eh". Onto the next venture. (Insert Kay: Since this restaurant has only just recently opened, I may try it again in a few months. We've heard a lot of people really enjoy their food here, so maybe we just hit them on an off night?)

Lee Lynn's Dining Room & Lounge

The other weekend we found ourselves at the The Mall In Columbia (or the "rich people's" mall as a colleague of mine refers to it). After our mall shopping spree (hello H&M!), we were hungry. Very hungry…Jay was exceptionally grumpy—a sure sign that it was time to eat!  Luckily some dumb bitch a good friend of mine lives in the Columbia area and recommended Lee Lynn's Dining Room and Lounge, so we quickly headed there for lunch. (Insert Jay: Is it Lee Lynn or Leelynn, WTF? If you look on their website, they list it two ways. Pick one and go with it.)

Even though Lee Lynn's was recommended, our first impression was, well, er…honestly we got back in the car and debated whether we wanted to eat there or try to find another alternative. It's just that the entrance to Lee Lynn's is a little iffy. It shares the building with a liquor store, and the parking lot entrance is sort of on the back or side of the restaurant. But, as we took another look, we realized that during the warmer months, Lee Lynn's probably has a kick-ass outdoor patio area, that unfortunately was just packed up and bare in the winter months.

Once we finally got into the restaurant, we opted to sit in the bar/lounge area. The decor inside was much nicer than what we were greeted with outdoors, and the overall vibe was relatively welcoming. We enjoyed the jazz music playing in the lounge and were quickly greeted by our waitress. (We've loved the cool fountain hanging behind the bar made up of all different kinds of instruments!) According to their website, Lee Lynn's prides itself on using fresh, organic local ingredients (yay!). I went with the Grilled Murray's Amish Raised Chicken Panini with Tomato/Basil Confit, Fresh Mozzarella, Balsamic Drizzle (um, yeah, YUM!). Jay opted to go with good ole Fish n Chips (Insert Jay: I was inspired after eating with some friends. One of my friends ordered fish and chips and it looked tasty). Both came with a bonus surprise—waffle fries! Seriously, is there anything better than waffle fries!? (Insert Jay: What is it with waffle fries that makes them so good. Here is my theory, it's the fact there's more surface area to be fried.  People fry all types of foods and it's the fact that they are fried that makes them taste good.  You can get fried oreos, fried pickles, fried twinkies, I know everything there is to know about the fried business....) My Chicken Panini was great, Jay's Fish n Chips was ok. Our waitress was superb, checking in on us when needed (as in, getting Jay refills), but leaving us alone to eat and chat when we wanted.

All in all, we were happy with our lunch here and were glad our friend recommended it! (Insert Jay: fried ice cream, fried onions.....) I'd love to go back during the spring/summer and sit out on their large patio (even if it overlooks a highway). We'd give it a high "Good Enough to Take Your Parents To" and will try to hit it up again next time we find ourselves in Columbia! (Insert Jay: fried mushrooms, fried fish, pause....I guess that's about it.  If you don't get the reference here, you must be stupid or something Gump.)

Lunchbox

It is very rare that Jay and I get to have lunch together, so when we had the chance, I insisted we visit Lunchbox, the newest venture for Bryan Voltaggio (aka owner of the famous Volt Restaurant, aka Frederick's poster-child). (OK, here's where I fully admit that I am a Top Chef junkie, and really enjoy watching the success and growth of our local hero! I'm not a stalker, I promise!) (Insert Jay: He is just a chef, get over it. He was on tv, blah blah blah...he is just a person who makes good food. By the way, I don't get the allure of Top Chef…you never get to eat the food they make on the show, so who knows what it tastes like.)

Lunchbox is a great place to stop for a quick lunch, and is surprising very cost-effective. I went with the Portabella and Goat Cheese sandwich, and Jay had the Pastrami & Swiss. I also got  an order of the Chicken Buttermilk Dumpling soup. Both our sandwiches were pretty good, definitely worth the $5! The soup…holy crap, the soup was amazing. Super HOT, but really good—just perfect after our cold, crisp walk through downtown Frederick, MD. Jay topped his meal off with a FREE apple (Insert Jay: I wish it was a honeycrisp apple!), and I also grabbed some of their oatmeal raisin cookies (what can i say, I was really hungry that day—don't judge!).

OK, so let me get into more detail about those cookies. I admit, I had gotten oatmeal raisin cookies at the Lunchbox a few times before, and they were AH-MAZING! (as in, after my last lunch there with a friend, we actually had post-follow up emails just to talk about their cookies). But, unfortunately this visit left me sad about my cookie fix. Neither of my oatmeal raisin cookies had any raisins. Not. A. Single. One. I want my raisins, people—Lunchbox, take note! (Insert Jay: If you've ever seen the movie Casino, you should remember the scene with De Niro telling the chef to make sure there were an equal amount of blueberries in every muffin. It would be fitting if someone got whacked by Pesci over this raisin oversight)

Now that I'm off my cookie soapbox, I'll say that other than that, we were happy with our meals at Lunchbox. The vibe and decor is very clean and geometric, and we love the fancy plastic "silver"ware utensils. The service was very fast and efficient (although we weren't entirely sure what to do with our trays when we were finished). However, if you've read some of our previous posts, you'll know that Jay is a monster when it comes to eating, so he wished there had been some chips or something to accompany the sandwich…it wasn't quite enough for him.

We'd recommend Lunchbox for a quick, easy, and affordable lunch—I know I'll definitely be back—and we look forward to seeing some of Brian's future ventures in Frederick as well. We'd give Lunhbox a solid "Good Enough to Take Your Parents Too", and maybe borderline "Hell, Yes!".  (Insert Jay: Are you referring to me or the restaurant?)