Madrones

In a failed attempt to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings, Kay and I found ourselves at Madrones (their website is a .net…amateur hour) over in the Clemson Corner shopping center in Frederick, MD. Prior to entering the restaurant, Kay and I argued over whether or not this was a chain. Judging by the location, neon sign, and logo, all signs pointed to yes. But, after we both did some research, it appears that it is not a chain afterall (but I'm still not convinced.)

When we entered the restaurant, everything said chain steakhouse. Fake stone fireplace, a shitload of tables/booths, deer antler lights and a douche behind the bar. The Janet Jackson (I call her Ms. Jackson, cuz I'm nasty) playing on the house stereo did throw me, though. (Insert Kay: Yes, I was shocked that Jay knew this old 'skool' Janet Jackson reference too! "No my first name ain't baby!") We were quickly greeted by the hostess who was wearing a low cut shirt complemented with a huge rack, a plus in any guy's book. Unfortunately she wasn't our server so that was a minus. (Insert Kay: Yeah. I was super upset.)

Our server was quick to arrive since there wasn't a lot people in the place. (Insert Kay: It was like a Monday night). He took our drink order and gave us a few minutes to look over the menu. (Insert Kay: While we didn't get drinks this time around, Madrone's drink menu seemed really extensive. They had a wall filled with whiskey and other liquor bottles, plus a good selection of craft beers.) After viewing the menu, I realized I was wrong about the steakhouse theme, this joint was just normal American fare. Our waiter returned to take our order and proceeded to break rule #1. He immediately turned to me and said "I'll take your order first, sir". Look, I'll admit that I'm the biggest asshole I know, (Insert Kay: Truer words have never been spoken) but even I know you always take the broad's order first. I looked over at Kay when he said that and just gave her the "did that shit just happen?" look. Apparently it did, so I quickly got over it and ordered the hickory burger. Kay ordered the grilled portobellos & goat cheese pasta.

Our food arrived in a timely manner. But to be honest, it was rather boring. I wasn't impressed and I wasn't disappointed. It was the most non exciting meal I've had in a long time. I may or may not have fallen asleep in the middle of it. It was kind of like hitting LC's behind the dumpsters in shop class. (Insert Kay: Jay, what the hell are you talking about!?) That statement makes no sense (stop trying to figure it out asshole) and that's how I felt after the meal. (Insert Kay: Oh.)  (Insert Kay: While my meal looked promising, it was WAY too salty. As in drink-3-full-glasses-of-water salty. I couldn't even finish half of it. And holy goat cheese balls....it was just a lot of cheese. If you really like cheese, you may like this dish, it was just too much for me)

After finishing our meals, we wrapped up the check and simply headed home. I did catch a good look of the boobie hostess on the way out. I gave her my best pick up line (seen here), not sure how she took it though. As far as a rating, we'd give this one an "eh". Onto the next venture. (Insert Kay: Since this restaurant has only just recently opened, I may try it again in a few months. We've heard a lot of people really enjoy their food here, so maybe we just hit them on an off night?)

Bound'ry Restaurant

Sorry for the lack of posts, I lost my mojo with the blogging shit. Here's my problem, I'm laying down comic genius but I don't get feedback with the anonymity. I say screw it, if we can't put your restaurant on blast without having the balls to let you know who we are—then we're the assholes. We'll stick with the "Jay" and "Kay" moniker for the blog (I say it's a stupid idea, but Kay wants to run it). (Insert Kay: Word.) You can find out who we are if you follow Kay on FB. So that's that, on to the Bound'ry.

We headed down to Nashville with some friends to celebrate the New Year. We got all gussied up for New Years' Eve and went out for a nice meal at the Bound'ry. For starters, I know it's spelled wrong. But they're in the south so we'll cut them some slack. They made up for their lack of spelling with short notice reservations. I called the same day at noon for a table for 6 at 6:00 (Insert Kay: On New Year's Eve, mind you). I was surprised that they were able to accommodate with such short notice. I, like Vin Diesel, live my life a quarter of a mile at a time. Here's the link if you assholes don't get the reference. So after some drinks at The Patterson House, (Insert Kay: Check this joint out too if you ever find yourself in Music City! It has a great Prohibition era, speakeasy vibe serving classic cocktails.) we headed down to the Bound'ry (bitches in tow) (Insert Kay: Hay-ay!).

Upon arrival, I was impressed with the vibe of this joint. They had some flame shit going on out front and the inside was artistic as well. We were seated as soon as we arrived and greeted by our waiter within minutes. We ordered drinks and while waiting, some waters arrived along with these crazy ass bread sticks and various breads. This is not a "stale bread in a basket wrapped with the same napkin as your fork" kind of place. (Insert Kay: Very fancy-schmancy!)

Each of my friends ordered a different meal. Let me give it up to the waiter who took 6 orders without writing anything down. Look, I know we don't all aspire to be a waiter when we are kid. If you do, take notes from this dude. He made recommendations and was insightful on the menu. I went with their version of shrimp and grits and Kay went with the pork chops. One of our friends ordered the antelope. (Insert Kay: What kind of DB orders antelope? Just kidding, love ya "Chapstick"!) The menu says the antelope is from Texas but since when do antelopes roam the plains of Texas? I thought those bastards were chilling in Africa with Simba and shit. At any rate, all of our meals were on point. This was the best last meal I could have had for 2012. My shrimps (as they say in the south) were perfectly cooked and the portion size along with flavors were perfect. I tasted all of my friend's meals and they were great as well (except for the antelope, what asshole eats antelope?). Each meal had a distinct flavor and I could have eaten any of them. (Insert Kay: My pork chops were equally as amazing. So tender and flavorfull—I wish I could've eaten the entire plate! Plus they served a local Nashvillian craft beer that I discovered on my last visit to Nashville—Yazoo Brewing Company. I went with the hefeweizen…yum.)

After our meal, we headed downtown to catch the Old Crow Medicine Show perform at The Ryman Theater. Pokey LaFarge opened up the show and it was a perfect end to a great evening. If you're ever in Nashville, I would highly recommend the Bound'ry. Great atmosphere, great food, great friends (dresses could have been a bit more low cut but whatever). (Insert Kay: Dude, it was effing January)

All things considered, we'd give The Bound'ry a "Hell Yeah!", and would definitely recommend if you ever find yourselves in Nashville (Insert Kay: "Y'all). Prices were on the steep side, but for a special dinner, definitely check it out next time you're down south.