Monday, February 20, 2012

The Brewer's Art


Kay and I decided to spend a night out in the great city of Baltimore, you know Balmer, Hon. We planned on checking out a show that started late so it made sense to go ahead and get dinner while we were down there. Baltimore is known for many things, great crabs (the kind you eat and the other kind you catch), great sports (one team that has sucked since 1983 and the other who can't catch touchdowns or kick field goals), and great people (nice enough to watch your car for $2 and then break into it when you turn the corner). Side note, when someone offers to watch your car for a small fee and you say "sure, thanks", they hear "hey I have something valuable to steal, go ahead and steal it two minutes from now". You're the asshole in this situation…ok, so back to our big night on the town.


We needed a good restaurant for dinner and I know this asshole dick who lives in the city. He recommended "The Brewer's Art" (Insert Kay: Yeah. You'd think they'd have a nicer website) on Charles St. They brew their own beer so we were in. The restaurant is a bit upscale so no jorts allowed (Insert Kay: Ha Ha…jorts). The decor is unique with lots of custom art on the walls and high ceilings. They have a cool vibe going on and I was hoping for as good of a meal. We were quickly seated and greeted by our waiter. I ordered a glass of their porter and Kay's dumbass ordered some bottled hippie beer that you can get anywhere (Insert Kay: Pinkus Organic Hefeweizen. I like it. I can order whatever beer I want, because I do what I want!) She claimed she didn't know which beer to get and was afraid she wouldn't like it. (Who cares, we're making it rain! If the beer sucks, just order another one.) For our entrees, I went with rock fish over a lobster risotto, Kay went with the Hudson Valley Duck Confit (Insert Kay: What can I say, I'm a sucker for poultry). As you can see, we weren't kidding around this time. We began enjoying our beers while awaiting our meals.


A few minutes later, our waiter came back with our meals. My first impression was, that's not going to be enough food, my second was WTF is a kumquat (they were included in Kay's meal)? I never understand why finer foods have such small portions. I thought my rock fish was okay, but it surprisingly didn't have a lot of flavor. The risotto was good but I'm not a big lobster fan (Insert Kay: Um, then why did you order the lobster risotto? Am I right?). The overall flavor was not bad, nothing against the chef but the flavor profile was not for me. Kay's duck was decent but I am glad I didn't order it, again the flavor profile didn't do anything for me (Insert Kay: I actually really liked my dish and don't know what Jay is talking about. The pickled kumquats were a little tart on their own, but when mixed with the rest of the dish, they fit in perfectly!). I don't know how to rate the food at The Brewer's Art. I'm sure to most people, the food here is great. The specific dishes on the menu just didn't do anything for me. The service was great and I could see the food was prepared well. At this point you're probably thinking "this asshole is clueless and can't appreciate good food". That's not the case, it just was "okay" for me.

So as far as a rating, I'd give The Brewer's Art a "good enough to take you parents to" for the beer and decor, but I'd give it an "eh" for the food. My dick friend (mentioned earlier) claims the Resurrection beer is great, he neglected to tell me that prior to my visit so I would like to go back for a few beers (Insert Kay: And get a better friend). As for my rating of Baltimore, at least I made it out alive and with my wallet, shiiiit. (Insert Kay: Oh, Indeed.)



Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Sabor De Cuba


Kay has been harping on me to get to the review of Sabor De Cuba, a new Cuban restaurant in downtown Frederick. (That dumb bitch better check her tone.) (Insert Kay: If you had stopped playing video games or watching West Coast Customs or Gold Rush, and got your shit done…I probably wouldn't need to harp on you, dear)  At any rate, here it goes. When walking around downtown a few weeks ago, we noticed a new restaurant opening soon on Patrick Street. I was excited to see that it was Cuban themed. The last Cuban restaurant in Frederick that I visited was That Cuban Place (TCP), and unfortunately, it was forced to close it's doors. I was only able to visit it one time—and I liked it! So, I had high hopes for Sabor De Cuba.

When we visited, Sabor De Cuba had only been open a few days, so we weren't sure what to expect. Upon entering, we were greeted by the hostess and were told it would be about a 20 minute wait. The bar had plenty of open seats, so we opted to eat there. (This is a little trick I use since my appetite usually doesn't want to wait for food. Don't any of you try it, please continue waiting for a table so that I can get to my food before you.) (Insert Kay: OK, total side note: I just wanted to point out that the restaurant was very warm and cozy…which was greatly appreciated as it was a cold and snowy evening when we visited. I hate going to restaurants and freezing my ass off, which happens a lot!)

The bartender took our orders quickly and the food didn't take long to arrive. I went with the Ropa Vieja, a pulled flank steak and Kay went with Pollo a la Plancha. The meals were $15 and $14 respectively,  both came with beans w/ rice and plantains. I was expecting huge portions of food for the price, but I was sadly disappointed—both plates only included a very small portion of meat, the majority of the plate was full of rice and beans. Don't be misled by the picture of Kay's dinner, that's visual ambiguity (google that shit if you don't know what I'm talking about). You've got to be kidding me right, $15 for rice! I will say this, the Ropa Vieja was very tasty, but $15 tasty—no. I could handle paying $15 for the entree if the majority of the meal were the meat. This should have been an $8-9 meal max. Kay's meal was the same as mine, majority rice, small portion of chicken. (Insert Kay: But, the small amount of chicken I did get was really good!)

Kay says she would go back, but not me. (Insert Kay: I usually give restaurants a "pass" if I visit them within the first month of their opening. The food was good, just over priced. I'd definitely try Sabor de Cuba again in a few months. I'm not a hater!) I was still hungry after the meal and was bummed on the small meat portions. I would like to see this restaurant succeed, so I'm taking it easy on them. They need to come down in their prices or go up in the portion size, and hopefully they'll figure this out before it's too late.

On a side note, I kept noticing random people coming up to the bar for free drinks. A few even went behind the bar to get their own drinks. I guess they worked there or were owners/friends. No big deal, it didn't take away from my service. I wanted to be part of the club though (Insert Kay: Sadly, I don't know enough Spanish to have any idea what they were talking about!). I felt like I was eating Thanksgiving dinner at the kids table. You know, you're there but none of the adults want to talk to you. So as far as a rating goes, I give it an "eh" while Kay is probably more on the "I'd like to give it another chance" side. In my eyes, you get one shot, and then, no soup for you! (Insert Kay: or in this case, no meat for us! That sounds gross.)



Thursday, February 9, 2012

Lee Lynn's Dining Room & Lounge



The other weekend we found ourselves at the The Mall In Columbia (or the "rich people's" mall as a colleague of mine refers to it). After our mall shopping spree (hello H&M!), we were hungry. Very hungry…Jay was exceptionally grumpy—a sure sign that it was time to eat!  Luckily some dumb bitch a good friend of mine lives in the Columbia area and recommended Lee Lynn's Dining Room and Lounge, so we quickly headed there for lunch. (Insert Jay: Is it Lee Lynn or Leelynn, WTF? If you look on their website, they list it two ways. Pick one and go with it.)

Even though Lee Lynn's was recommended, our first impression was, well, er…honestly we got back in the car and debated whether we wanted to eat there or try to find another alternative. It's just that the entrance to Lee Lynn's is a little iffy. It shares the building with a liquor store, and the parking lot entrance is sort of on the back or side of the restaurant. But, as we took another look, we realized that during the warmer months, Lee Lynn's probably has a kick-ass outdoor patio area, that unfortunately was just packed up and bare in the winter months.

Once we finally got into the restaurant, we opted to sit in the bar/lounge area. The decor inside was much nicer than what we were greeted with outdoors, and the overall vibe was relatively welcoming. We enjoyed the jazz music playing in the lounge and were quickly greeted by our waitress. (We've loved the cool fountain hanging behind the bar made up of all different kinds of instruments!) According to their website, Lee Lynn's prides itself on using fresh, organic local ingredients (yay!). I went with the Grilled Murray's Amish Raised Chicken Panini with Tomato/Basil Confit, Fresh Mozzarella, Balsamic Drizzle (um, yeah, YUM!). Jay opted to go with good ole Fish n Chips (Insert Jay: I was inspired after eating with some friends. One of my friends ordered fish and chips and it looked tasty). Both came with a bonus surprise—waffle fries! Seriously, is there anything better than waffle fries!? (Insert Jay: What is it with waffle fries that makes them so good. Here is my theory, it's the fact there's more surface area to be fried.  People fry all types of foods and it's the fact that they are fried that makes them taste good.  You can get fried oreos, fried pickles, fried twinkies, I know everything there is to know about the fried business....) My Chicken Panini was great, Jay's Fish n Chips was ok. Our waitress was superb, checking in on us when needed (as in, getting Jay refills), but leaving us alone to eat and chat when we wanted.

All in all, we were happy with our lunch here and were glad our friend recommended it! (Insert Jay: fried ice cream, fried onions.....) I'd love to go back during the spring/summer and sit out on their large patio (even if it overlooks a highway). We'd give it a high "Good Enough to Take Your Parents To" and will try to hit it up again next time we find ourselves in Columbia! (Insert Jay: fried mushrooms, fried fish, pause....I guess that's about it.  If you don't get the reference here, you must be stupid or something Gump.)