We Are Farmers…A Visit To Founding Farmers Restaurant

Kay visited Founding Farmers last week and the dumb bitch left her hat there (actually, it was MY hat, and she STOLE it from me. What a dumb B!) (Insert Kay: Jay, there is no need for name calling. Even though I totally did feel like a dumb B for forgetting it!). So, instead of driving there just to get the hat, we decided to make an evening of it and grab dinner too. Located in Potomac, MD (with a second location in Washington, DC) you’ll find this farm-to-table restaurant has a lot to offer. The décor is interesting, they use big jars of canned vegetables to really hit home with that good ol' farm fresh feeling. In other countries, people are starving but here in ‘Merica, we decorate with food giving a middle finger to the third world. (Insert Kay: But they were so pretty!)
 
I ordered the Carolina BBQ and Kay got the southern fried chicken. Our waiter was very knowledgeable and helpful in making our decisions. My meal was…um, unique, let’s say. Each of my sides (beans and greens, and some kind of pickled cucumber something) had complex flavors but they just didn’t seem to all go together. The pulled pork was okay at best. I ate mostly everything but would order something different next time. It wasn’t traditional BBQ (my favorite food).  I get it—this isn’t a BBQ joint so they did their special take on it. Prior to ordering I had a feeling that I might not like the BBQ but, I took a chance. I rolled the dice. Finding good BBQ is like asking someone who is color blind to pick fresh strawberries from a field. Every now and then you get lucky. (Insert Kay: My meal was great! The fried chicken was super tasty, and the mashed potatoes and white gravy were pretty good too. I couldn't eat everything in one sitting, so I had it for lunch the next day. Still Good)

(Insert Kay: So, yes, the meals were good (or unique in Jay's case). But, let's not forget about their Farm Breads. OK, now, I'm a sucker for bread, so, we ordered their Prosciutto, Fig, and Mascarpone. Holy eff. It was SO good! Jay usually warns me to "Not fill up on bread", but he didn't even bother this time, because it was that good. And probably because I literally grunted/growled at him when he suggested I not finish every single bite of it. Seriously, I could've just eaten this bread. Did I mention I love bread?)

I would definitely go back to Founding Farmers. They had enough on the menu to interest me. As for marketing, I think these guys should hook up with www.farmersonly.com . I’m not sure how the collaboration would work but it makes sense, since it’s a hook up website. Lastly, don’t worry about finding your car as you walk through the parking lot. Yours will be the one that isn’t the BMW or Lexus.

(Insert Kay: just as a side note. When I go to the Founding Farmers website, it reminds me of the Farmers Insurance commercials. "We. Are. Farmers. Da, da-da, da, da, da, da." Our dog loves those commercials. This is his response to all Farmers Insurance commercials (ok, so this particular video is to a different show, but the result is ultimately the same.)  

Boxd…Dreams Made of Waffles

Under the category of goddamn genius, you'll find Boxd located in Carlsbad, California. Kay and I stopped by Boxd while visiting California and couldn't believe how simple yet effective this business is. If you like waffles (who doesn't) then this place is for you. The menu is simple, it's waffle sandwiches filled with whatever you want (eggs, bacon, fruit...) (Insert Kay: You take a waffle. Put some shit in the middle. Fold it over. Then you eat it. Done and Done…Bananas and Nutella Waffle…drooling just thinking about it). They have a seating area on the street corner and they've landscaped it to look like a small park. (Insert Kay: Of course, it IS Sunny Southern California, ...so, it's easier to have a year-round outdoor restaurant. Might be a little harder on the East Coast. Grrr, stupid Maryland weather.) After polishing of my waffle sandwich, I thought this about the entire setup.

Ask yourself, what would be better than hand crafted waffle sandwiches sold out of a shipping container in a small public park? Nothing, asshole. If I were ever going to rip off an idea, this would be it. Here is my business plan:

1) acquire shipping container
2) buy waffle iron and small griddle
3) rent a small space in city
4) make money

When (note I said when) you visit Carlsbad, make sure you take time to stop by and visit Boxd. They aren't open late so plan on breakfast or lunch (I refuse to say brunch since only douches use that word). If you don't have time to take a trip to the west coast, you can simply stop by our own version of Boxd here in Frederick, MD once we get it going. If any of you assholes rip off my ripped off idea and start this here before we do, you'll need to add step 5 to your business plan (receive ass whooping). And for a rating, obviously, we're going with a Hell Yeah here.

When Pigs Fly…The Flying Pig

 

(Disclaimer: Since Jay has a very short attention span, we've decided to shorten our posts a bit so they are short and sweet. This will help Jay stay on track a bit more and will allow us to … squirrel!)

Kay and I visited some friends one friend, one asshole out in California and decided to take this bitch coast to coast. Just north of San Diego you'll find the town of Oceanside, home of The Flying Pig. From the outside, you would never think to go into this joint but you'll be pleasantly surprised if you do. (Insert Kay: It literally looks like an abandoned warehouse building from the outside, we didn't have high hopes)

The Flying Pig offers an eclectic (big word, hope I spelled it correct) dining experience. Old LP covers (records, dumb ass) are used for menu holders, plenty of original art, and no two chairs match but some how they do. My menu was an old Bee Gees album and chest hair is the first thing I usually think of when ordering food. The shrimp and grits I had was really good with plenty of flavor. Kay's pork chops were also good (Insert Kay: Jay, that might be one of the best YouTube links you've done to date. Nice work, that is some creative genius shit right there. Of course, now that song will be stuck in my head for, like, 8 days!). There are plenty of craft beers on tap for those of you who can't make it through a day without one. (Insert Kay: Are you referring to someone specific here Jay?)

Not that you're going anytime soon, but if you do find yourself driving through Oceanside (Insert Kay: or O'side for all the kewl kids), look for The Flying Pig. Also look for our friend (singular), she'll meet you for ice cream anytime. (But, you'll also need our other friend to actually drive you to said ice cream shop, that is unless you want to ride on the back of her bike, which I hear can be a little bit sketchy these days…) Rating, Hell Yeah, stamp it.