When Pigs Fly…The Flying Pig

 

(Disclaimer: Since Jay has a very short attention span, we've decided to shorten our posts a bit so they are short and sweet. This will help Jay stay on track a bit more and will allow us to … squirrel!)

Kay and I visited some friends one friend, one asshole out in California and decided to take this bitch coast to coast. Just north of San Diego you'll find the town of Oceanside, home of The Flying Pig. From the outside, you would never think to go into this joint but you'll be pleasantly surprised if you do. (Insert Kay: It literally looks like an abandoned warehouse building from the outside, we didn't have high hopes)

The Flying Pig offers an eclectic (big word, hope I spelled it correct) dining experience. Old LP covers (records, dumb ass) are used for menu holders, plenty of original art, and no two chairs match but some how they do. My menu was an old Bee Gees album and chest hair is the first thing I usually think of when ordering food. The shrimp and grits I had was really good with plenty of flavor. Kay's pork chops were also good (Insert Kay: Jay, that might be one of the best YouTube links you've done to date. Nice work, that is some creative genius shit right there. Of course, now that song will be stuck in my head for, like, 8 days!). There are plenty of craft beers on tap for those of you who can't make it through a day without one. (Insert Kay: Are you referring to someone specific here Jay?)

Not that you're going anytime soon, but if you do find yourself driving through Oceanside (Insert Kay: or O'side for all the kewl kids), look for The Flying Pig. Also look for our friend (singular), she'll meet you for ice cream anytime. (But, you'll also need our other friend to actually drive you to said ice cream shop, that is unless you want to ride on the back of her bike, which I hear can be a little bit sketchy these days…) Rating, Hell Yeah, stamp it.

B-Dubbs

What the hell is B-Dubs you ask? Buffalo Wild Wings for all you punk bitches who aren't in the know. (Insert Kay: While we usually don't post on chain-type restaurants, we had a special connection with this one…read on) Seeing as we are big time bloggers and food critics, we got a special invite to a soft opening for the new Frederick B-Dubs located by Wegman's (what the hell do you call that area?). For the record, I generally only use the word "soft" when referring to anyone other than myself, but the opening of this restaurant is an exception. What is a soft opening you ask? It's when a new restaurant opens only for special guests to have a trial run through a full night of service. So if you're keeping score at home, there is a new B-Dubs in Frederick and we were invited to prep the restaurant for service (keep up assholes). (Insert Kay: OK, so now you know that we are a little late on this post, because the Frederick BWW has been opened for over a month now. But that's ok—we do what we want. Don't judge, it's been a busy winter, bitches.)

Shortly after arriving, we were seated and our waitress informed us how the evening was going to go. The rules were simple. Order anything you want, just try to pick something from each section of the menu, food is free and beer is donation for charity. At this point I think I heard angels sing. It took me a minute to figure out what I wanted to eat. It wasn't the abundance of choices, it was 200+ tv's all playing sports at full blasting volume. I didn't know which one to watch or where to look. There are a lot of distractions, it was kinda like this. If you have ever been to Glory Days, (Insert Kay: Or any sports bar/ restaurant, for that matter) B-Dubs is basically the same thing but on steroids.

After assimilating to the surroundings, we figured out what we wanted to eat. Wings asshole. We wanted to try 3 different flavors and went with honey bbq, salt & vinegar, and hot bbq. I asked for 6 of each but the waitress said they were only taking orders for 12. I told her I couldn't eat that much but she didn't mind, 36 wings coming up. (Insert Kay: Yes, he did. He literally ordered 36 wings.)  We also ordered some appetizers just for shits and giggles. I was surprised to find out that B-Dubs actually offers craft beers. (Insert Kay: Seriously, we were surprised at the variety of their selection. I'm the beer connoisseur of this marriage, so what I say goes.) We ordered up a few that I haven't heard and were pleasantly surprised. They had a few stouts that were tasty and I would recommend them if you're into stouts. (Insert Kay: As a slacker food blogger, Jay, of course, forgot which stout beers he would actually recommend. You suck, Jay) Our food arrived and at the same time so did one of the managers to see how things were going. For starters, the manager was a huge bitch. (Insert Kay: Word.)  She was actually my sister but she is still a bitch. She checked in on all tables to see how things were going but the side order of attitude delivered to our table wasn't appreciated. Oh well, she got us in for free, seems like a fair trade. (Insert Kay: We'll keep her. For now.) I dove into the salt&vinegar wings first and must admit I was pleasantly surprised. If you like the S&V potato chips, I say you should give these wings a try. I then tried the hot bbq. WOW. On the burn your butthole meter, I would have to give them a 9. Translation of burn your butthole meter: a 9 is when you want to dunk your ass in the toilet after taking a shit due to the spicy food you ate the night before. (Insert Kay. Sorry ladies. He's taken. And yes, this is an actual conversation we've had before. I am such a lucky gal.) The honey bbq were more reasonable. The apps were great and we even got dessert as well. My dumb bitch sister said dessert wasn't allowed but I told her to make it happen. (Insert Kay: Hot fudge sundaes. If you've read some of our previous posts, you KNOW how I like a hot fudge sundae, bitch.)

All in all, B-Dubs was great. They have a shitload of wings to choose from as well as plenty of visual stimulation. If you see a tall skinny broad ordering people around, don't give her a hard time. I've got that covered. As for a rating, we give this one a Good Enough to Take Your Parents To! (Insert Kay: Wait, your parents actually were there.)

Sidenote- When my sister and I were young, we used to play this game called "waitress". She would act as my waitress and prepare me food. When it was my turn to play, I would always say, "nah, I quit this job". She always went first in the game and I always quit at my turn. Dumb bitch fell for it every time. Now look at her, she is running a restaurant and is more than playing waitress. Nice.

Bound'ry Restaurant

Sorry for the lack of posts, I lost my mojo with the blogging shit. Here's my problem, I'm laying down comic genius but I don't get feedback with the anonymity. I say screw it, if we can't put your restaurant on blast without having the balls to let you know who we are—then we're the assholes. We'll stick with the "Jay" and "Kay" moniker for the blog (I say it's a stupid idea, but Kay wants to run it). (Insert Kay: Word.) You can find out who we are if you follow Kay on FB. So that's that, on to the Bound'ry.

We headed down to Nashville with some friends to celebrate the New Year. We got all gussied up for New Years' Eve and went out for a nice meal at the Bound'ry. For starters, I know it's spelled wrong. But they're in the south so we'll cut them some slack. They made up for their lack of spelling with short notice reservations. I called the same day at noon for a table for 6 at 6:00 (Insert Kay: On New Year's Eve, mind you). I was surprised that they were able to accommodate with such short notice. I, like Vin Diesel, live my life a quarter of a mile at a time. Here's the link if you assholes don't get the reference. So after some drinks at The Patterson House, (Insert Kay: Check this joint out too if you ever find yourself in Music City! It has a great Prohibition era, speakeasy vibe serving classic cocktails.) we headed down to the Bound'ry (bitches in tow) (Insert Kay: Hay-ay!).

Upon arrival, I was impressed with the vibe of this joint. They had some flame shit going on out front and the inside was artistic as well. We were seated as soon as we arrived and greeted by our waiter within minutes. We ordered drinks and while waiting, some waters arrived along with these crazy ass bread sticks and various breads. This is not a "stale bread in a basket wrapped with the same napkin as your fork" kind of place. (Insert Kay: Very fancy-schmancy!)

Each of my friends ordered a different meal. Let me give it up to the waiter who took 6 orders without writing anything down. Look, I know we don't all aspire to be a waiter when we are kid. If you do, take notes from this dude. He made recommendations and was insightful on the menu. I went with their version of shrimp and grits and Kay went with the pork chops. One of our friends ordered the antelope. (Insert Kay: What kind of DB orders antelope? Just kidding, love ya "Chapstick"!) The menu says the antelope is from Texas but since when do antelopes roam the plains of Texas? I thought those bastards were chilling in Africa with Simba and shit. At any rate, all of our meals were on point. This was the best last meal I could have had for 2012. My shrimps (as they say in the south) were perfectly cooked and the portion size along with flavors were perfect. I tasted all of my friend's meals and they were great as well (except for the antelope, what asshole eats antelope?). Each meal had a distinct flavor and I could have eaten any of them. (Insert Kay: My pork chops were equally as amazing. So tender and flavorfull—I wish I could've eaten the entire plate! Plus they served a local Nashvillian craft beer that I discovered on my last visit to Nashville—Yazoo Brewing Company. I went with the hefeweizen…yum.)

After our meal, we headed downtown to catch the Old Crow Medicine Show perform at The Ryman Theater. Pokey LaFarge opened up the show and it was a perfect end to a great evening. If you're ever in Nashville, I would highly recommend the Bound'ry. Great atmosphere, great food, great friends (dresses could have been a bit more low cut but whatever). (Insert Kay: Dude, it was effing January)

All things considered, we'd give The Bound'ry a "Hell Yeah!", and would definitely recommend if you ever find yourselves in Nashville (Insert Kay: "Y'all). Prices were on the steep side, but for a special dinner, definitely check it out next time you're down south.

The Cellar Door

The other weekend Jay and I took our first trip to The Cellar Door in downtown Frederick, MD to celebrate Frederick Restaurant Week with some friends. (OK, you caught us, this post is really late... didn't I mention last post that we are slackers. Don't Judge.) We hadn't been to The Cellar Door location since it had been The Brown Pelican...yeah...a REALLY long time ago! Even though the restaurant had been opened for a while, neither of us had heard anything about it—good or bad. So we honestly weren't sure what to expect.

First impression was that the vibe in the basement setting was kind of cool. It was small and quaint, with a cozy bar area. The staff was very courteous and we were quickly seated with drinks ordered (we tried the Fat Tire Beer, which I will definitely be ordering it again! And wish I was drinking right now. mmmmm....beer). It was a special night, so we both got appetizers (which we don't usually do). I went with Goat Cheese Fritters (Insert Jay: aka mozzarella sticks, let's call a spade a spade) and Jay got the Seared Ahi Tuna. The fritters were pretty good, very cheesey, but the sauce they came in was amazing! (Unfortunately I don't remember exactly was the sauce was and sadly, they don't have it listed on their menu—food blogger #fail.) Jay was happy with his tuna bites.

For my main course I went crazy and decided to try the Roasted Pork Chop. The dish came with a parsnip puree, sautéed spinach, and then caramelized apple, onion and bacon to top of the HUGE hunk of pork chop (seriously, it was HUGE!).  Jay went with the Chicken Cheasapeake, which came with lump crab meat, asapragus, and mashed potatoes. (Our friends also went with the Chicken as well as The Eastern Shore—rockfish, scallops, mussels, prawn, tomato, garlic and rice served in a broth base). I gotta say, if the dinner had been a competition, my pork chop meal was the winner. As in, it kicked all the other meals' asses! It was so good. Let me repeat—it was so good! Even the parsnip puree was a hit! All the flavors really complimented each other and the pork was soft and buttery. Jay's Chicken meal was also good, although he wished it came with more crabmeat. (Insert Jay: When I read "Chesapeake" on the menu, I figured Old Bay would be involved but that wasn't the case. Oh well, it was still good. There was a small amount of crab and it didn't have too much flavor. It got lost in the dish and didn't seem to fit). And our friend enjoyed her Eastern Shore meal, repeatedly exclaiming "This broth is really good" several times, even though some of the seafood didn't live up to her expectations.

While we had the best intentions to try dessert while dining, we were just too full. But, we did have one other savory goodness that deserves a mention—the bread before the dinner. Ok, so the bread wasn't anything special, but they served it with a raspberry butter. Say what!? Holy. Crap. It was so good, I made the waitress bring us more.

All in all, we enjoyed our meal at The Cellar Door and would most likely go back. But, since we were there during Frederick's Restaurant Week, we got a special fixed pricing on the meal. We did notice that the normal meal costs can run on the pricey side, so we'd probably only go back for a special occasion...or just to drink the Fat Tire beer and eat the raspberry butter. I'd give our meal a borderline "Hell, Yeah" and a solid "Good Enough to Take Your Parents To"…but hope that they pay for it.

The Brewer's Art

Kay and I decided to spend a night out in the great city of Baltimore, you know Balmer, Hon. We planned on checking out a show that started late so it made sense to go ahead and get dinner while we were down there. Baltimore is known for many things, great crabs (the kind you eat and the other kind you catch), great sports (one team that has sucked since 1983 and the other who can't catch touchdowns or kick field goals), and great people (nice enough to watch your car for $2 and then break into it when you turn the corner). Side note, when someone offers to watch your car for a small fee and you say "sure, thanks", they hear "hey I have something valuable to steal, go ahead and steal it two minutes from now". You're the asshole in this situation…ok, so back to our big night on the town.

We needed a good restaurant for dinner and I know this asshole dick who lives in the city. He recommended "The Brewer's Art" (Insert Kay: Yeah. You'd think they'd have a nicer website) on Charles St. They brew their own beer so we were in. The restaurant is a bit upscale so no jorts allowed (Insert Kay: Ha Ha…jorts). The decor is unique with lots of custom art on the walls and high ceilings. They have a cool vibe going on and I was hoping for as good of a meal. We were quickly seated and greeted by our waiter. I ordered a glass of their porter and Kay's dumbass ordered some bottled hippie beer that you can get anywhere (Insert Kay: Pinkus Organic Hefeweizen. I like it. I can order whatever beer I want, because I do what I want!) She claimed she didn't know which beer to get and was afraid she wouldn't like it. (Who cares, we're making it rain! If the beer sucks, just order another one.) For our entrees, I went with rock fish over a lobster risotto, Kay went with the Hudson Valley Duck Confit (Insert Kay: What can I say, I'm a sucker for poultry). As you can see, we weren't kidding around this time. We began enjoying our beers while awaiting our meals.

A few minutes later, our waiter came back with our meals. My first impression was, that's not going to be enough food, my second was WTF is a kumquat (they were included in Kay's meal)? I never understand why finer foods have such small portions. I thought my rock fish was okay, but it surprisingly didn't have a lot of flavor. The risotto was good but I'm not a big lobster fan (Insert Kay: Um, then why did you order the lobster risotto? Am I right?). The overall flavor was not bad, nothing against the chef but the flavor profile was not for me. Kay's duck was decent but I am glad I didn't order it, again the flavor profile didn't do anything for me (Insert Kay: I actually really liked my dish and don't know what Jay is talking about. The pickled kumquats were a little tart on their own, but when mixed with the rest of the dish, they fit in perfectly!). I don't know how to rate the food at The Brewer's Art. I'm sure to most people, the food here is great. The specific dishes on the menu just didn't do anything for me. The service was great and I could see the food was prepared well. At this point you're probably thinking "this asshole is clueless and can't appreciate good food". That's not the case, it just was "okay" for me.

So as far as a rating, I'd give The Brewer's Art a "good enough to take you parents to" for the beer and decor, but I'd give it an "eh" for the food. My dick friend (mentioned earlier) claims the Resurrection beer is great, he neglected to tell me that prior to my visit so I would like to go back for a few beers (Insert Kay: And get a better friend). As for my rating of Baltimore, at least I made it out alive and with my wallet, shiiiit. (Insert Kay: Oh, Indeed.)

Magoo's Pub & Eatery

So, this isn't our first, second, or even third time to Magoo's Pub & Eatery. It's actually one of our go-to places for when we need a good, quick meal in downtown Frederick, MD. In fact, we go there so often that when we walked in, we were quickly greeted at the door and offered two seats right in the front & center of the bar. Ok, so, really,  the place was a little busy and there was a short wait, so Jay and I just opted to eat at the bar, because we were starving.


We both enjoy the atmosphere of Magoo's small, friendly, Irish pub feel. Jay went with his "usual", a rueben, which he claims is one of the best (if not the best) in town. Even though I mostly get their Chicken Taragon sandwich (um, yum), I decided to go with something a little different and ordered the Chicken Pot Pie (Insert Cartman, "I like pot pie") . While we waited for our food, we enjoyed some beers (getting promptly carded, and then complimented for how well we've both retained our aging, thank you very much) and played around with the trivia questions located on the beer (Insert Jay: I lit it up on the sitcom category running the table).
 
Before we knew it, our food had arrived (thank goodness, because, like I said, we were starving at this point)! My chicken pot pie was good, although the flaky pastry topping was just a tad on the gooey side. I scarfed the entire thing down (which says a lot because I typically can't/don't eat everything on my plate) But, be forewarned, if you are really hungry, do not get the pot pie. It is freaking hot! I burned my tongue, bad! (and still couldn't stop eating it!). Jay equally ate every last bite of his rueben and almost growled at me when I tried to sneak a forkful of coleslaw from his plate (insert Jay: dumb bitch kept taking my fries too).

Politics aside (Magoo's owner is a former mayor of the city), we'd give Magoo's a high "Good Enough to Take Your Parents To" (which we've actually done, several times). The food is really good for American-Irish pub food, prices are great, and there is usually little to no wait for a table (although we've never been on St. Patty's Day). The atmosphere has a friendly, neighborly, "Cheers" feeling to it, and you'll almost always find the owner front-and-center, working the bar (as a business owner myself, I just think that is pretty cool).

While we didn't go with a dessert this night (Jay was being lame and wanted to get home), be forewarned that dessert seems to takes a long time. I have no idea why (Insert Jay: I've seen them make dessert, you can easily make any of them at home). Also, there is another great little hole-in-the-wall (like, literally) bar in the downstairs of this restaurant if you're ever looking for a quick drink.

And on a side note: while we were waiting for our check (and waiting for Jay to finish his Guiness, because he's a bit of a lightweight), the couple next to me actually asked for my opinion on Magoo's and a few other restaurants in the downtown area. Has our cover been blown, or do we just exude food criticism? I guess they could just tell that we're big-time food bloggers, now! (Insert Jay: and on another side note, the waitresses wear kilts. One of the waitresses has banging legs and I'm not even a leg man. Fellas keep an eye out)